well i already know im going to hell
at this point it’s really go big or go home
you don’t wanna show up early; shoot for the (hell)moon and be fashionably late
(via shreddedangel)
↓
3ridan:
well i already know im going to hell
at this point it’s really go big or go home
you don’t wanna show up early; shoot for the (hell)moon and be fashionably late
(via shreddedangel)
♥ 159621
↓
Here i go foaming out the mouth
Gums bleeding
i just need to brush up
on hygiene
Here i go foaming out the mouth
Gums bleeding
i just need to brush up
on hygiene
![FREE - Epic Section of Tree Trunk (North Highlands)
Date: 2012-08-11, 3:00PM PDTReply to: s3vfr-3199482282@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are giving away this deee-luxe, large-size section of tree trunk. Be warned! Mere mortals cannot move it! Two brave men have tried, combining their efforts, and could only manage a mere rolling of this mighty log. Now we invite you, brave knight, to come try your hand in this epic tournament of wills. Journey to our driveway at 6109 Georgia Drive (zip code 95660) and face this wooden foe, if you dare. Like the fabled Sword in the Stone of Arthurian legend, this beast is FREE to whoever can move it and claim it as his (or her) own. No need to knock on the door of our castle - in fact, please don’t. You’ll disturb the dragon. Just ride up on your shining steed (or heavy duty vehicle) and haul it away. Bring whatever weapon (read: tool, don’t bring a weapon) you feel you might need to wage this battle. May we recommend a chainsaw and large truck? What you do with the log is up to you. Maybe… - Take up chainsaw carving. Having used a chainsaw to bring down the log, we have a new-found respect for chainsaw artists. - Sit on it beside a campfire and make some s’mores. A classic. - Stick a piece of glass on it and call it a coffee table. That’s sure to start some fun conversations with guests. - Carve out the middle section and use it to give your deceased pet a Viking burial on Lake Natoma. Grog! - Hide it in your roommate’s bed. Hilarious. - Put it in the cage of your very, very large snake for scenery. The uses are endless…. The dragon of the house and the foot of the lord of the castle are shown for scale. This log is mighty. Best it, if you can.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8nzhtvdOd1qadj4wo1_400.jpg)
↓
“Do you know anything about 1912?” An old man was asking me about 1912 as i was passing by. When walking around i avoid eye contact, especially with odd, old men who appear to be drinking. However, i just couldn’t ignore the man. Although, to be honest, i wasn’t certain he was talking to me initially.
So i said no, that i didn’t know anything about 1912. i thought about saying that i know Mother’s Cookies was established in 1914… He continued to say that “Women got the right to vote in 1912, and you know what they voted for? Prohibition! Why did you vote for that?”
Pfft. Hahahaha
This guy continued an attempt to be humorous. i recognized the old fellow sitting next to him; he has been outside the same house and occasionally lightly laughs at me as i pass by. So i suppose it would be fair to say that they both had a sense of humor.
The first joke told was about a genie and he says “vaffanculo” (i think. i looked up some Italian swearings and that seemed the closest to what he said.) because he didn’t want to use fowl language in my company of course. The old guy goes off about how bad this genie was and how he was tired of granting wishes. The man wishing asked for a freeway from California to Hawaii. After the genie replied that wish was so difficult and maybe was there another, the man asked to understand women. i could have sworn the old dude said “how many languages is that,” as a punchline, but i didn’t understand how that was funny. i was so deadpan that he laughed and continued to tell me more about a hunchback ending with a pun. He also told me a couple of blond jokes as i was trying to leave. The other fellow handed me a popsicle as if to buffer me from the poor jokes. As i was leaving i shared a blond joke with him he hadn’t heard and i think he genuinely liked it, but i’m not positive he knew what a scratch ‘n sniff sticker was.
Ultimately i’m glad i stopped. Old guys are funny; it made me miss playing dominoes with my old cook Leonard. They were stoked about a girl smiling at them and i got a frozen treat! i love Nevada City.
”Please don’t vote for that again!”
“Do you know anything about 1912?”
An old man was asking me about 1912 as i was passing by. When walking around i avoid eye contact, especially with odd, old men who appear to be drinking. However, i just couldn’t ignore the man. Although, to be honest, i wasn’t certain he was talking to me initially.
So i said no, that i didn’t know anything about 1912. i thought about saying that i know Mother’s Cookies was established in 1914… He continued to say that “Women got the right to vote in 1912, and you know what they voted for? Prohibition! Why did you vote for that?”
Pfft. Hahahaha
This guy continued an attempt to be humorous. i recognized the old fellow sitting next to him; he has been outside the same house and occasionally lightly laughs at me as i pass by. So i suppose it would be fair to say that they both had a sense of humor.
The first joke told was about a genie and he says “vaffanculo” (i think. i looked up some Italian swearings and that seemed the closest to what he said.) because he didn’t want to use fowl language in my company of course. The old guy goes off about how bad this genie was and how he was tired of granting wishes. The man wishing asked for a freeway from California to Hawaii. After the genie replied that wish was so difficult and maybe was there another, the man asked to understand women. i could have sworn the old dude said “how many languages is that,” as a punchline, but i didn’t understand how that was funny. i was so deadpan that he laughed and continued to tell me more about a hunchback ending with a pun. He also told me a couple of blond jokes as i was trying to leave. The other fellow handed me a popsicle as if to buffer me from the poor jokes. As i was leaving i shared a blond joke with him he hadn’t heard and i think he genuinely liked it, but i’m not positive he knew what a scratch ‘n sniff sticker was.
Ultimately i’m glad i stopped. Old guys are funny; it made me miss playing dominoes with my old cook Leonard. They were stoked about a girl smiling at them and i got a frozen treat! i love Nevada City.
”Please don’t vote for that again!”
